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Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Journal Entry Type #179: Try Again, Please!

I've done this before, meaning I've left my phone at work, only to not have it on the weekend. I consider it a challenge in a way. I look less on the Internet when I'm bored. I don't mindlessly search for stupid things to buy or wish I could buy. This m…
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Journal Entry Type #179: Try Again, Please!

Pisaries Creator

April 2

I've done this before, meaning I've left my phone at work, only to not have it on the weekend. I consider it a challenge in a way. I look less on the Internet when I'm bored. I don't mindlessly search for stupid things to buy or wish I could buy. This meant the blog entries I had intended to write this past weekend never happened because I didn't have the code to log into WP. This also meant I spent more time reading my book instead of, you know what, surfing the Internet. I have my computer for this too, but my HP laptop is far inferior compared to my Mac computer even though my Mac is ancient compared to today's standards. I would like to buy a new one but with everything that costs money and money I don't have right now. Having to pay $450 for every crown I need doesn't help nor does it help when insurance claim you don't need a crown and have to pay the remaining $600+ balance. Good thing for rejecting their insurance rejection.

This month as with most every month this year, I plan on doing more of everything each week, from exercising to blogging to writing. I think I pretty much have reading more down because that's all I really feel excited to do compared to coloring. I suppose I should cut me some slack as my family was visiting recently and that took up some time. A part of me is still recovering from that although it felt good to relax and enjoy life a little bit. It's not that I don't enjoy life when I'm working and have the weekends off trying to not be overly tired and get the motivation to do more than sit like a blob in front of the TV. I'm giving myself some leeway here, but no more because I've done enough not really living up to my potential or standards. The first quarter of the year is done. Time to make the most of the last three quarters. There's a lot I want to get done. Sometimes, I feel as if I have it within me to do it. Other times, I don't because I'm so freaking exhausted for reasons, I still find aggravating. If I could live my life over again, I definitely would've made different choices. I certainly would major in something more practical and not do the stupid things I did. My passions wouldn't get the better of me so much.

As much as I'm trying to get on a schedule of waking up early and going to bed at a reasonable time on the weekends, a part of me is still a night owl which is when my creativity usually sets in and when I find the most inspiration. I suppose that has changed and now it's about making the most of my time when I'm fully awake with my writing. I suppose it's similar to eating and when you are busy but hungry, the busyness of something makes you forget about your hunger. The more tired you are, if you busy yourself with something whether it be reading or writing or coloring, you tend to become more awake and alert. This doesn't apply in all situations when you're tired, but this is what I'm trying to do when I'm not working. I never thought I'd have to fight to stay awake when I shouldn't be tired. Some days are better than others. I know I'm not the only one having to deal with physical limitations and while it doesn't help improve my situation in my way, I know perspective helps with living day after day.

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