There's been a lot on my mind, but what is new. Really, seriously, what is new? Not much in some ways. A lot in other ways. I find myself still in the same predicaments and situations as before. They are neither highly important enough to mention or frivolous to ignore completely. What I do know is I have some stress going on because bodies react to it and mine is no exception. I am happy to say I'm so close to losing my original weight loss goal, under four pounds but more than two pounds. Can you guess which number it is? When I don't overdo it on my diet by being too strict or not strict enough during other days, my weight pretty much stays the same. I'm incorporating more weightlifting. That isn't quite as painful as doing squats and lunges and thigh exercises. I didn't do that many repetitions of all three and let me tell you that it resulted in three days of me walking funny. It felt like I had ridden a horse for hours.
I sometimes forget since I light a fire underneath me that I still am suffering from a certain ailment I've mentioned before but not really wanting to go into detail because it's pointless. Let's just say it makes me more tired during certain times of the week. I try my best to get through the days and when I don't want to exercise and feel the arthritic pain in my knees and feel my sore feet after the previous night's jogging, I continue on with it because I have to do it and need to do it for my health. Although today I had every intention of exercising, but decided not to because my body needed a rest including my legs, feet, and knees. Sometimes, it's good to listen to your body and realize "no pain, no gain" is a stupid phrase. I believe I've gotten to the point of really listening to my body when it comes to my health and hope it sticks this time. I've put in hard work before to lose weight before, but this time is the second time I've really put in the work. When all is said and done, I will have lost 30 pounds and if I lose even more which might need to happen to get the appearance I want, it's coming from a place of good intentions versus punishment which makes all the difference.
I used to do a lot of things to punish myself because I felt I deserved it. I also did things because I had given up and took the easy way out when it came to my personal life. Giving it my all at a job that paid me wasn't the issue. Giving it my all when not getting paid was the issue. It's harder to keep going and continue with something when there is no monetary reward. I'm sure this isn't experienced only by myself. There are countless others who feel the same way. Putting mindsets and situations in perspective helps but minimizing problems isn't helpful either. I'm reading several books right now. One is a classic that inspired the short story I posted today and some books on narcissism and a few other books scattered here and there. I guess you could say a part of me is feeling overwhelmed because of the cold sore that formed recently. At least, I'm still upright and breathing with bags under her eyes I certainly am not happy with, but that's what happens when you get older and maybe not getting enough sleep.
I guess it's a good thing when I'm concentrating on the first world problem of going to a movie and not buying a large popcorn with a guaranteed refill since my health kick about almost 100 days ago instead of the fate of the world in November and the current cluster that is going on currently. It's a good thing when I'm more excited to watch the Olympics and know it isn't my responsibility to report extensively because people chance and that ship has sailed off into the sunset. It's a great thing to know I've learned the lesson of not carrying the weight of other people's problems on my neck, back, and shoulders. Whatever I carry is now in my backpack. I don't need anyone else's baggage attached to me and neither should anyone else.
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