Twitter: @DadHallOfFamer
Main Card
Erin Blanchfield vs. Manon Fiorot
If you yell it, they will come.
Girl Fight!
From far and wide, they come; no end in sight. From the BFE trailers, the quad, the Senior parking lot: running, pushing, jostling for a better view. The goth kids, the jocks, the bandos, the dweebs, nerds, and dorks alike, even some of the teachers sneaking peeks. Lunch money anted up. Three bucks on the girl from second-period Chemistry. Nah, nah, the cheerleader is gonna get her. You seen how high she can kick? Yeah, but Chemistry girl has smarts. Fight IQ, man. Yard duties on the run. Yard duties huffing, hands on the knees. Yard duties back on the run. The student body, arms linked, boxing them out. Hair slangin', acrylic nails snappin', wardrobes... (Collective breaths held) ... malfunctioning!
"Welcome First National Spank Bank. How can I help you?"
"I'd like to make a deposit."
When you want to bring people together, who needs an assembly when you have Girl Fight! How was school today? I got an F on the Physics quiz; Wendy Peppercorn said Tad already asked her to Homecoming; I got cut from the Dungeons & Dragons team... But there was a Girl Fight! And Nothing Else Matters – Metallica Voice.
Girl Fights! are going back-to-back like Mel Gibson and Danny Glover. Speaking of Mel Gibson, Erin Blanchfield once had a fight directed by him: The Crucifixion of Molly Meatball. It came with an NC-17 rating. Against Jessica Andrade, she had the answers written on the bill of her hat that she only wears on test days and subsequently aced it. She went on to out-dog Taila Santos, earning her a title eliminator against the Holly Holm Theilaxu Ghola, Manon Fiorot. Make no mistake, the winner of this fight will be the Champion after Shevchenko and Grasso meet for a third time. You want high stakes? These are poised high enough to build enough momentum to penetrate Vlad the Impaler's heart. Fook pink slips; this is playing for mortgages. Turn you into a squatter real quick type-ish.
"This is my house."
"Then why am I living in it?"
"Touche. Good day to you, Sir."
Erin Blanchfield travels along the Merab spectrum. She weaponizes cardio and pressure - stays in your chest like heart beats and bad feelings. Blanchfield has that Shelley Marsh air about her, like she whooped all her brother's friends' asses growing up. Homie was strolling around campus with Secret Service. Blanchfield isn't the best at anything but she'll best the best of the best because she has that Australian Dingo in her. She not only survives but excels in the harshest conditions when others tend to turn into sun-bleached skeletons after the carrion have had their fill.
Blanchfield's striking is her weakness, but it's not a liability. She makes up for an amateur flow with a staunch commitment to combinations. Till death do us part. Blanchfield's default setting is two to three-punch combinations while minimizing space. Every second of the round is spent fighting Erin Blanchfield. But she has massive technical holes. She has JFK head movement. Like she's taking an eye exam head movement, squinting to read the bottom line. When it comes to evading punches, Blanchfield is the viral video of that girl walking into a glass door three times before successfully maneuvering through the opening. Blanchfield runs face first into strikes like birds fly into windows. When it comes to Manon Fiorot, Blanchfield will be at a technical and speed disadvantage on the feet. Her pressure will be the key to the fight. Fiorot has yet to fight someone who will march her down for twenty-five minutes.
Blanchfield's path to victory will be on the mat, using her superior wrestling/grappling. Once she gets hold of you, Blanchfield holds on longer than the Count of Monte Christo holds a grudge. Longer than Leos hold grudges. For Blanchfield to win this fight, she has to make it look like Petr Yan vs. Merab. Merab made the superior striker look mid-AF by threatening takedowns nonstop and never allowing Yan to find any kind of rhythm on the feet. Blanchfield will have to make Fiorot wear her like a Top Model runway model. Red carpet type-ish. "And here's Manon Fiorot, looking smashing in her Erin Blanchfield evening gown. Erin Blanchfield is the gown. Just genius!"
If you're a Weekly KO Triple-O-G, then you've been riding the Manon Fiorot train since her debut in 2021. I may have even crowned her the future champ on day one. For all my old and new Dune heads out there, Fiorot is a Theilaxu Ghola constructed from a single Holly Holm cell. Ghola's retain every memory of the original version of themselves. Holly in her prime, was better than Manon Fiorot, but Fiorot might just be getting started. She's the Jackson Storm of this division – of this fight. Fiorot is the souped-up future model on the track, lapping the competition. She's Drago in the lab with electrodes hanging off her.
Fiorot has a bladed stance and uses a Wonderboy side-kick to disrupt the opponent's timing/rhythm. She's a right-handed, lead-hand-dominant southpaw. Did you get all that? She's a righty in a lefty stance and loves to use lead and check hooks. Fiorot's best attribute is that she's a Makaveli Seven Day Theory track one representative. She rewrote The Art of War, condensing it to one rule: Bomb First. Fiorot is an instigator, a three-eighty-slug penetrator. They knew she did it for having blood on her gators. Fiorot uses hand speed and short two-punch blitzes to overwhelm opponents. Her major malfunctions are that her hands are often too fast for her feet; she gets stuck striking in place. Plus, she has less power than the American people. Her hands come with a free Triple-A membership and three free roadside jump starts. And her left hand has commitment issues. No openings are good enough for it. The way she uses her left hand is like wielding an AR and only using a bayonet attached to it to stab the enemy.
The stand-up will be decided by who can dictate the pace. Blanchfield wants to speed it up, and Fiorot wants to slow it down and use range to dictate her engagements, not necessity. The fight will ultimately be decided by Fiorot's noinety-one percent takedown defense. Early in her UFC career, she faced Tabatha Ricci, an excellent wrestler, and it was Fiorot who recorded the only takedown in that fight. Blanchfield struggled mightily to score takedowns against Taila Santos, going o-for – zero for fourteen on takedown attempts. There's a good chance Blanchfield will run into similar roadblocks against Fiorot. If that's the case, the stand-up edge will go to Fiorot.
The numbers: Blanchfield is 12-1 with two TKO/KOs and four subs and averages five and a half SLpM to Fiorot's six. Blanchfield also averages nearly three takedowns per fifteen minutes to Fiorot's just under one and a half. Fiorot has those nasty little Holly Holm trips from the clinch that she often uses in the waning seconds of rounds to put her over the top on the scorecards. Fiorot is 11-1 for her career with six TKO/KOs and zero subs. Both ladies are 6-0 in the UFC, but Fiorot is riding four straight wins by decision, and Blanchfield finished three of her last four. Erin Blanchfield is the (-150) favorite, and Fiorot is the (+125) live dog. I have a feeling the fight will settle into a kickboxing match, and Fiorot is the overall better striker. The bigger finishing threat, though, is Blanchfield, and that includes on the feet. Blanchfield is a dog's-dog. Her unrelenting pressure could eventually wear down Fiorot like the ass of an old pair of chonies.
It's that thuggish-ruggish-bone. Rose Bone, aka Thug Namajunas, got me back in the main event-dub column last week. It wasn't pretty, but you'll find no complaints over here. This one is a mindf**k. Having to pick this one almost seems cruel. Erin Blanchfield via decision. Put that shit on wax.
Props
Blanchfield: TKO/KO (+700) Sub (+180) Dec (+250)
Fiorot: TKO/KO (+425) Sub (+2500) Dec (+350)
Vicente Luque vs. Joaquin Buckley
Damn, homie. In high school, you was the man, homie. The fook happened to you? I love me some Vicente Luque, but I think he's down to the last sip you leave in the fridge, so you don't have to throw the carton away. He's the ring around the tub after it drains. Even though he's coming off a main event dub against Rafael Dos Anjos, he just hasn't looked the same on the feet. He's like the tractor that picks up golf balls on a range, all dented and beat up. But he still has that Alex Pereira left hook and leg kicks that can even the playing field against anybody. Firefights? Luque covers himself in Vaseline and sets himself on fire like a stuntman. Smoke? Luque spends the night in ICU after every fight for smoke inhalation. Luque went from a potential death sentence matchup against Ian Garry, to a life sentence with the possibility of parole with good behavior against Joaquin Buckley.
The key for Luque will be attacking Joaquin Buckley's legs and hobbling his explosive movement. Attacking the body is also a good way to slow Buckley down. The problem for Luque these days is he doesn't move his head. You can find his head even in a blackout. He doesn't move his head an inch because then it will take a mile. Geoff Neal beat years off Luque's life, and I don't know if Luque can ever recover. In order to beat the turtle in a full shell, Joaquin Buckley, Luque will have to strap on the gasoline boots, walk through hell, and win a battle of attrition that will require him to sustain heavy damage once again. But like Nas only needs one mic, one mic; Luque only needs one punch, one punch. And Don't sleep on his D'arce/Anaconda chokes; he can lock it up even from a standing position if Buckley shoots one of his patented Bobby Boucher power doubles and leaves his neck exposed.
Luque is 22-9 for his career with eleven TKO/KOS and eight submissions. At one point in his UFC career, Luque won ten of eleven bouts, his only loss over four years coming to Wonderboy. But since fighting Belal Muhammed for a second time, Luque has lost two of three. Luque will be the higher output striker, averaging over five SLpM to Buckley's just below four. But the stat to keep an eye on is Buckley's one-and-a-half takedowns per fifteen minutes. Luque's counter-wrestling head and arm chokes are not to be fooked with. Luque uses D'arce/Anacondas to defend takedowns, and Buckley tends to get out of pocket like loose change and shoot errant doubles that Luque will have no problem countering with chokes.
Everybody Hates Joaquin. He has a way of rubbing people the wrong way and phrogging inside their heads. His opponents have no idea he's been living inside their heads, moving things around, and changing the thermostat until it's too late, and they end up on the wrong end of an ESPN Top Ten highlight. Joaquin Buckley is the owner of a top three dead-or-alive KO of all time when he jumping spinning back kicked Impa Kasanganay's head off his shoulders. Ol' Sleepy Hollow-ass. Buckley is a Broadway musical special effects striker. All of his strikes are flying strikes. He leaps into the pocket like Zion, catching a lob, and yaks on you with two-hand monster jams and shatters the backboard. He's on some Peter Pan shit, flying halfway across the Octagon whenever he unloads with his hands. Every punch he throws is a leaping Roy Jones gazelle punch. It looks like a safari in this bish with gazelle punches migrating across the Octagon during a Buckley scrap.
This is a matchup of power vs. power. Luque's power is more reserved and technical, but Buckley is more explosive. Buckley's hands are laced with thermite and leave you falling at freefall speeds: 9.8 m/s. He's all hooks like Nate Dogg and traffics them across state lines. He throws hooks that passed their shelf-life months ago. It's like walking on the shoulder of a freeway with cars zooming by you at eighty mph when Buckley starts winging hooks and overhands. Missed punches create gale-force winds that nearly knock you off your feet. Overall, Buckley's stand-up style is to zero blitz on every exchange, leaving no safety over the top like he guessed your play correctly on Techmo Super Bowl. Also, be aware of Buckley's head kicks. They're like side dishes that taste better than the main course.
Buckley is 17-6 for his career with twelve TKO/KOs, and he's coming in off back-to-back dubs. This one is a virtual toss-up, with Luque returning (-115) and Buckley returning (-105). Both fighters have fight-ending upsides, and Buckley four of Buckley's six career L's came via TKO/KO. Only one of Luque's noine career L's came via TKO/KO. But Luque's chin isn't even close to what it used to be. I say all that to say this: I think a decision, one or the other, has a ton of value. I think there is a good chance Luque will try to make this one look like the last one against RDA. He will try to salt away rounds in the clinch against the cage while looking for trip takedowns. Vicente Luque via decision. On wax.
Props
Luque: TKO/KO (+240) Sub (+500) Dec (+500)
Buckley: TKO/KO (+240) Sub (+2200) Dec (+320)
Chris Weidman vs. Bruno Silva
The MMA Gods are cruel bass turds, and irony is their muse. Nobody has experienced higher highs and lower lows than Chris Weidman. Weidman takes the phrase "Break a leg" literally. Against Uriah Hall, Weidman's leg turned into an origami crane after throwing a leg kick. But Chris Weidman is like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, kicking his own ass in the bathroom, "I'm kicking my ass!" Weidman is a glutton for punishment and returned to the Octagon in a little over two years. Of course, that went about as well as you expected. Brad Tavares is a ruthless, grimy vato. But I like that. He wasted no time addressing the Woolly Mammoth in the arena by kicking the shit out of Weidman's good leg just so he could get at the reconstructed leg when Weidman was forced to switch stances. Watching that fight was literally like watching a train wreck whose carnage you can't look away from. It looked like the William Wallace torture scene in the arena with the crowd chanting, "Mercy! Mercy!" And shout out to the cameraman who zoomed in on Weidman's mutilated leg as soon as the first bell rang; he knew what was about to go down.
I thought the Tavares fight was a closure fight, the equivalent of a victim's impact statement for Weidman, and that it would be his swan song. Who could blame him for not wanting to end his career on a stretcher? But here we are. The bad news for Weidman is that he can't wrestle anymore. He can't plant on that bum leg. It looked like he couldn't put any pressure on it even before Tavares started chopping it to pieces. Weidman can't level change and penetrate anymore and gets stalled out against the cage. Now, he is forced to rely on the weakest part of his game, his stand-up. But even on the feet, Weidman has been reduced to an arm puncher because he can't rotate his hips properly without putting pressure on his leg. Someone close to Weidman needs to have an intervention.
"Because I know somewhere deep down in my heart, I still love you!"
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
But Weidman still has that Tell Tale heart beating beneath the floorboards. Late in the Tavares fight, Weidman had some good moments on the feet after the "F**k It" level was reached. The only thing Chris Weidman ever quit in his career was quitting. Prime Weidman would smoke Bruno Silva, his opponent this Saturday night, but this is far from prime Chris Weidman. Weidman needs to eliminate space and use volume to pressure Bruno so Bruno can't get off any leg kicks or any of his patented haymakers. Weidman's hands are still better than Bruno's, but Weidman just doesn't have the mobility to set them up. Dating back to 2018, Weidman has lost four of his last five and seven of his last noine, dating back to 2015.
When I first saw Bruno Silva, he was the M-1 Champion and a literal world-beater who would punch a hole in the earth from the top position. He was a guy who had better ground striking than stand-up striking. But since his UFC debut in 2021, Bruno has become a wild Trey Styles striker. He has also become the UFC's middleweight Apacalypto sacrifice. They fed him to the Alex Pereira wolves when the two-division Champ made his promotional debut, and Bruno most recently served as the T-Rex sacrificial lamb against the MMA Fetty Wop, aka One-Eye Willie, Shara Magomedov, and promptly got Chester Copperpot'd. Bruno has now lost two in a row and four of his last five after starting his UFC career 3-0.
On the feet, Bruno throws nothing but windmills like when you're heading out to Palm Springs. His punches are too long; he looks like he's freestyle swimming in the cage on some Michael Phelps type-ish when he wades into the pocket with alternating punches. This is the Bruno Silva Handicap Tour presented by __. He fought a half-blind guy in his last bout, and now he's fighting a crippled, grown-up Tiny Tim. It's like he's fighting roadside carnival attractions. Bruno fights in Morse Code-like fits, with abrupt starts and stops, and lacks a coherent pace. He has to fill in the dead air between engagements with leg kicks against Weidman. No mercy: Those legs have a target on 'em. Bruno's best performance to date was the Alex Pereira fight. He was able to get Pereira to the mat and threatened Pereira's chin multiple times. Honestly, Bruno should win this fight as long as he stays busy and threatens Weidman with his own takedowns. Make Weidman post on his gimpy legs when he sprawls while opening up six-lane highways to Weidman's chin.
The numbers: Weidman is 15-7 with six TKO/KOs and four subs and averages three SLpM to Bruno's four and a half. Bruno is 23-10 with twenty TKO/KOs. But the telling numbers lie within the loss columns. Of Weidman's seven career L's, six came via TKO/KO, and of Bruno's ten career L's, seven came via submission. When these guys lose, they tend to get finished. Bruno is the bigger finishing threat for many reasons, but the biggest one being that almost all of his twenty-three career dubs came via TKO/KO. And Chris Weidman now lacks the takedown game to finish Bruno on the mat. Bruno is the heavy (-275) favorite, and Weidman is the (+215) live dog. Weidman can win this fight. Why? Because Bruno Silva can't be trusted. I expect Weidman to come out and go for it from the jump like he did in the last round against Tavares, and Bruno Silva can get got on the feet. But one or two leg kicks could change everything. Bruno Silva via TKO, round two. Put it on wax.
Props
Silva: TKO/KO (-120) Sub (+1600) Dec (+400)
Weidman: TKO/KO (+1100) Sub (+650) Dec (+450)
Nursulton Ruziboev vs. Sedriques Dumas
The Nursulton of Swat is back. Colby Covington may look like Sid from Toy Story, but Ruziboev is the real-life Sid from Toy Story who treats his opponents like he's torturing his G.I. Joes. This guy has twenty career submissions and ten came via Kimuras and armbars. When Ruziboev's back is against the wall, he Kimura's his way out. Ruziboev owns a Mom and Pop bidet shop, and business booms whenever he steps into a cage. You have to wipe southpaw and buy a six-month supply of Spray N Wash for all your shitty drawers after you fight this guy. I heard Sedriques Dumas has been sitting on the John in the lefty stance in preparation for this one. And if he hasn't, you better get on that, Sedriques. This fight could turn into a rare grappling firefight because Dumas is no Dum-ass on the mat.
"Mr. Dumbass, I can bring a lot to Dumbass & Dumbass. I'm a go getter; Dumbass material all the way. So, am I your man, Mr. Dumbass?"
"The name is Dumás."
Sedriques Dumas is built like the third Island Boy, the triplet switched at birth. He's long like Costco lines, and his striking ain't it, pal. I ain't your pal, buddy. He has that Stephen A. hitting the pads striking and usually has to initiate "Oh shit!" takedowns after being rocked on the feet. Dumas' striking looks like a third-of-the-month (broke) Kevin Holland. He has power and a knack for using his long reach well and landing at the end of his punches, but his striking is still too raw, too al dente – stiff. He's a staunch one-punch striker whose hands break into hives when he throws a 1-2. His striking repertoire is a jab, cross, and leg kick. And they come mix and match, buy one, get two free. Needless to say, Dumas' forte is on the mat.
Sedriques uses the clinch and underhooks to relocate the fight into his wheelhouse, the top position. He has bad dream top control. No matter what you do, you can't get up, and you kick and scream until your parents run into the room to save you. Dumas is painfully position-over-submission. He is 9-1 for his career with four TKO/KOs and two subs. Two subs for a guy who relies heavily on top control isn't a great look. Dumas doesn't try to advance position – take the back or achieve the mount. He is more than happy just to ride out rounds on his way to a dub. But I don't think that will be an option for him this time against the Kimura specialist, Nursulton Ruziboev.
Ruziboev won his UFC debut in just over a minute with a KO over Brunno Ferreira, but don't let that fool you; this guy is a killer on the mat. He takes the oddest path to the mat that you will see. He has reverse psychology takedowns. He lets you take him down. Then he kimura sweeps your ass under the rug and ends up on top. Ruziboev looks like a Playstation 2 Khamzat Chimaev- like he uses a Chimaev Instagram filter when he steps into the cage. Actually, he's like a hybrid Shavkat/Khamzat, but he's not as good as either. He's a little mechanical on the feet; you can hear the gears grinding when he moves, and he could use a spritz or two of WD-40. But he has sneaky power, and his special move is the spinning back-kick. Like Khamzat and Shavkat, Ruziboev shines on the mat.
After Ruziboev lets you take him down, he activates his H.H. Holmes guard; there are pitfalls and vats of acid lurking around every corner. He wastes no time attacking your arms from his back before you can even think shit's sweet after scoring a cute, nifty little takedown. And from the top position, he beats you with the limbs he snatched from the bottom. Ruziboev is the polar opposite of Dumas on the mat; he is damage-and-submission-over-position. Check out these stats: Ruziboev is 33-8 for his career with eleven TKO/KOs and twenty fookin' subs. He also has six dubs in under one minute. He's a Missy Elliot one-minute man. BUT (big but), who has he fought? You'll blow out the ACL in your tongue, reading the names of his opponents out loud. You'll have to put your mouth on IR after trying to pronounce the names. We're talking about guys with the same first and last name, the Russian equivalents of John Johnathan, Chris Christopher, Tom Thomas – that sort of thing. Has Ruziboev ever been tested? IDK, there are only four minutes of footage on this guy.
Ruziboev is the (-275) favorite, and Dumas is the (+215) mangy dog. I'm not sure what Sedriques's path to victory is. Ruziboev is better than him in every position. I don't see Sedriques taking down and holding Ruziboev on the mat for fifteen minutes. That's a near-impossible task against a guy with Ruziboev's ground/guard game. The finishing threat is clearly Ruziboev. Sedriques's only career loss came via submission to Josh Fremd. That's a bad look going into a fight against a guy who would eat Josh Fremd's ham sammich. "Give me your sandwich, Dave." The hardest part will be deciding between TKO/KO and submission. Nursulton Ruziboev via Kimura, round two. Why not? Put that ish on wax.
Props
Ruziboev: TKO/KO (+250) Sub (+140) Dec (+850)
Dumas: TKO/KO (+400) Sub (+1000) Dec (+600)
Nate Landwehr vs. Jamall Emmers
The final bout order hasn't been updated as of my writing this, so I'm just winging it from here. There is no way in hell that Nate Landwehr, aka San Diego's adopted son, isn't on the main card if not the fookin' main event. He may be SD's adopted son, but Nizzy Nate ain't no fortunate son. It ain't Nate! It ain't Nate! No, Nate ain't no fortunate son! Nate was recently inducted into the San Diego Hall of Fame alongside Ron Burgundy after Nate stole the show almost two years ago in the co-main event at the San Diego Sports Arena. Nate is definitely on my island of favorite misfit fighters, and this scrap against Jamall Emmers has a sequel to that special night in San Diego written all over it, like lewd graffiti written on the face of the first person to pass out at the function with their shoes on.
Nate is Three 6 Mafia in the cage, riding on twenty-two-inch spinners, his gold fronts shining like a disco ball as he cracks your ass. Nizzy fights like he's been Sippin' on Some Syrup backstage before the fight. Nate Stays Fly, but he also stays blue-collar, handing out a ten-hour shift worth of ass whoopin' within fifteen minutes. And he brings all his tools to the job site: Knees, elbows, shins, and fists battered and fried extra crispy. Nate is a Chito spectrum fighter who emphasizes damage over everything else. But he also emphasizes taking damage over everything else. He doesn't always stay Doe Boy Fresh.
"Felt like getting KO'd in one minute, might delete."
Two of Nate's three UFC losses came in the first round, and one came in under a minute. Nate has an upright stance, and his head never deviates from the centerline. He tends to take as much as he gives, but he can usually take more than the opponent can give. Nate is reckless in the cage; I'm talkin' ironing in the shower type reckless. Eating a peanut butter sammich after smoking a doobie type reckless. But if you can't get Nate outta there in under half a round, you ain't getting him outta there at all, and you're in it for the long haul. He's had some bad losses, and while people keep sleeping on Nate, I keep Poppin' My Collar.
Nate The Entertainer. Nate is an entertainer first and a fighter second. Fighters fight for the dub, and players play the dub. Nate ignores the dub and makes the dub want him more. Nate Landwehr don't love these dubs. You can't make a dub a housewife. Nate is Julius Cesar in the Coliseum with the dub – thumbs up or thumbs down. Nate will intentionally choose the most perilous path to victory in hopes the crowd will take pleasure in his plight. Nate is 17-5 for his career with eight TKO/KOs and two subs and averages over six SLpM to Jamall Emmers's just over five. Nate's path to victory is whatever he wants it to be.
But as much as I love Nate, Jamall Emmers is not to be funked with. The last time we saw Jamall, he came in looking like sun burned Walt White after having to shave his head to make weight. He looked like he had to create himself on the UFC game and gave himself Jon Jones legs. Lower calves screamin', Jamall, I don't fit you! But he still cooked up a forty-noine second ass whoopin'. Emmers reminds me of a Genesis graphics Bobby Green, complete with the nifty switch-step counters. He also flows seamlessly between offense and defense. If Bobby Green came out for the pick-up game wearing the same shit he had on in the club, Jamall Emmers would be one of the homies in his crew. Emmers has crispy kickboxing, and his special move is the Bobby Knuckles same-side cross-rear-leg head kick combination.
Emmers's major malfunction on the feet is that he doesn't defend leg kicks. In almost every fight, Emmers gets severely compromised by leg kicks, and Nate Landwehr will chop a fella to mozzarella real quick. The underrated part of Jamall's game is his grappling and takedown defense. This guy is like trying to pin a cat on its back. Go ahead; try that shit. Emmers writhes and contorts and sweeps to keep his back off the mat. Emmers is 20-7 with eight TKO/KOs and three subs, and he should be riding a three-fight dub streak, but he got De Niro in Heat robbed against Jack Jenkins. Yep, Emmers got got at the Valero. I told him not to mess with that Roach Coach. And never ever use the handicap stall. I tried to tell him. But he don't hear me, though. JFK, Nixon, and Ford got his ass – jacked him for his dub. Got Eeeeeem!
Hit that Black Rob "Whoa!" Like Whoa! Nizzy Nate is the (+170) live-ass dog, and Emmers is the (-200) favorite. Bring 'em out! Bring 'em out! Nizzy Nate is a burst pipe flooding your basement with value. I think this fight will look a lot like the David Onama fight - the guy Nate beat that night in San Diego. Nate is coming off a tough decision loss to Dan Ige, and Ige is more dangerous than Emmers. That being said, both fighters are finishing threats. Nate's chin is a little sus, as the kids say, but Nate is a little more dangerous on the feet, using more weapons. Win or lose, Nate will never have to go Half On a Sack whenever he's within San Diego city limits because it's our honor to break nuggz with him. I didn't come here not to pick Nizzy Nate Landwehr, homies. Nate Landwehr via decision. Put that shit on wax and quit playin' with me.
Props
Landwehr: TKO/KO (+500) Sub (+1000) Dec (+400)
Emmers: TKO/KO (+275) Sub (+900) Dec (+150)
Bill Algeo vs. Kyle Nelson
"Oh no! Mr." Bill Algeo is back! He's another one of my island of favorite misfit fighters. Matter of fact, Kyle Nelson is clinging to a makeshift raft and nearing the shore, too. This should be a crunchy little Ringling Brothers circus scrap. Because all Bill Algeo scraps are Ringling Brothers circus scraps. Dude fights like he's singing in the shower, and nobody's listening. He just don't give a fook like the Slim Shady LP. And Kyle Nelson is an undercover savage and fighting him is like making first contact with the indigenous Sentinelese tribe and quickly finding out he has that Hannibal Lecter appetite. This is shaping up to be a banger little card. Don't go to sleep on this one.
Bill Algeo is a mall karate black belt with a red stripe; he's Rex Kwon Do's star student. He reminds me of a brother-from-another-mother, Bruce Leeroy. Algeo uses a bladed stance with a bouncy Wonderboy cadence, and his hands are loooooooong as fook, boy! His hands are like a circus car with an endless parade of clowns emerging from the back seat. His hands just keep on going forever. For. Ever! He has dot-dot-dot... hands. To infinity and beyond! hands. Algeo can hit you from across the cage, and he stays busy, like at work when the boss comes sniffing around. Like Bruce Leeroy, Algeo will throw every kick and spinning-shit technique he ever learned while mixing in some underrated grappling, should the need arise. When all else fails, Algeo outworks you. He is 18-7 with four TKO/KOs and seven subs and averages over six SLpM to Kyle Nelson's three and a half. His path to victory will be outworking Nelson with superior volume and stealing rounds with crafty takedowns.
Always go full Nelson. Kyle Nelson is a Kool-Aid mouth-stained savage. He's a damage-over-volume striker, traveling along the Chito spectrum. Nelson studies at the University of Chito Vera and majors in creating damage. And he's on some Summa Cum Laude type-ish – the head of his class. He can achieve the damage that most fighters create in half the time. The Bone Collector: There are two hundred-six bones in the human body, and Kyle Nelson throws two hundred of them at you. The knee bone is connected to the... Shin bone! Kyle's best weapons are his round kicks, especially his lead leg. He uses the lead leg to attack the body and head, and he uses the rear leg to attack the legs. He chops legs like Rocky chops wood. The radius is connected to the... Elbow! Nelson throws bows as well as he throws hands. In nearly every fight, Nelson has a near-fight-ending moment, even when he eventually loses. You can't sleep on this guy.
Nelson is coming off a dub against Fernando Padilla, who looked like a Natural Born Killer last weekend, and he has gone 2-0-1 in his last three fights after starting his UFC career 1-4. Nelson is 15-5 for his career with five TKO/KOs and four subs. Output will be the key for Kyle Nelson. As is the case with Chito Vera, Nelson will find himself behind on the scorecards if he can't land the big shot and hurt Bill Algeo. His style isn't high output, but he has to cut the cage and lead the dance more than he is usually accustomed to.
Algeo will be the (-225) favorite, and Kyle Nelson will be the (+185) dog. Nelson landed eighty-two significant strikes in his last bout against Padilla, which registered as the highest output of his UFC career. He will have to have a similar output in order to keep pace with Algeo. When it comes to creating damage, Kyle Nelson is slightly more dangerous than Alegeo. But Algeo has the movement and more diverse attacks to keep Nelson second-guessing from the outside. Even in a loss, Nelson will have a good opportunity to notch solid striking stats because I don't see this fight hitting the mat for long stretches. Bill Algeo via decision. I can give it to ya, but what cha 'gone do with it? Put it on wax.
Props
Algeo: TKO/KO (+450) Sub (+400) Dec (+120)
Nelson: TKO/KO (+1000) Sub (+1800) Dec (+300)
Prelims
$7k Value Menu
Manon Fiorot ($7.4k): It's a super ugly week for the value menu – lots of mangy-ass dogs. Manon Fiorot is not only a live dog against Erin Blanchfield, but she also has the output to be a valuable roster option even in a loss. Fiorot averages over six SLpM and has hovered near the one hundred significant strikes mark in four of her six UFC bouts. There's a good chance Blanchfield can score an early takedown or two, but I don't see any way she can relocate the fight to the mat consistently over twenty-five minutes. There will be a point, likely early, when this fight will turn into a kickboxing match. If that's the case, this is anybody's fight. Fiorot is the better, more technical striker, but Blanchfield has that seventh "IDGAF" gear that I'm not sure Fiorot has. The big question for Fiorot is, can she handle Blanchfield's unrelenting pressure? She has the counter-striking game to do so while notching solid striking numbers.
Nate Landwehr ($7.3k): Oh, you thought you weren't gonna see Nizzy Nate again!? Overall, Nate has faced tougher competition within the promotion than Jamall Emmers, and he's unpredictable as all get-out. How do you fight a guy who doesn't give a fook if he wins or loses? How do you kill a man who's already dead? Nate fights like he already lost the fight a week ago. The outcome holds no dominion over Nate Landwehr. He's here to kick ass, flex his bicep, and kiss babies after the dust settles. Nate is high output, high energy, and high on life. This fight likely won't touch the mat for long and will turn into a firefight as soon as the bell rings. Win or lose, Nate is gonna give it to ya, and he's gonna drop a Luka Doncic triple dub along the way. This is a toss-up fight and stand-up style matchup that should result in solid striking stats for both fighters. I see this as a sequel to Nate's One Night in San Diego when he set the city on fire against David Onama.
Anton Turkalj ($7.9k): This is an all-or-nothing pick. Anton Turkalj isn't very good. There, I got that out of the way. But he already has a second-round submission dub over his opponent Ibo Aslan, who is making his UFC debut. Sure, Anton got his ass cracked in the first round of that fight, but he weathered the storm, and as soon as he ended up in the top position, Aslan was up Shits Creek without a life preserver. Aslan dominated the stand-up and the top position for most of the first round, but he had nothing to offer from his back. There's a good chance Aslan will come out and finish what he started in their first meeting, but there's also a chance Anton could survive and advance if he can dictate when the fight goes to the mat. Anton is a power top with heavy ground and pound and nasty chokes, and one way or another, this fight isn't going to the final bell.
$6k Clearance Rack
Angel Pacheco ($6.8k): This guy is making his debut after a loss on the Contender Series. His opponent was Danny Silva, who notched a big upset dub last week over Joshua Culibao. Pacheco vs. Silva on the Contender Series was a Goose and Maverick dogfight. Pacheco gave as much as he took and had some big moments. Pacheco has the Midas Touch; he attacks the body like bubble guts, and like Ruth Langmore, you're gonna have to kill him to get him out of there. Check this shit out: Pacheco averaged over thirteen SLpM and landed one hundred noinety-seven significant strikes in his decision loss to Danny Silva. Dude never stops throwing. I was not impressed with Pacheco's opponent, Caolan Loughran's, aka Ginger Cejudo, debut. Gingersnaps Henry Cejudo's striking is stiffer than my seventh-grade tube socks, and his takedowns aren't very dynamic. He spams takedowns and went two for eleven against Taylor Lapilus in his debut. If Pacheco can stay off the cage and on his feet, his volume, combinations, and pressure will cause Loughran all kinds of problems on the feet.
Twenty Twen-Twen Sleepers
Nate Landwehr (+175): What more can I say? Nate is a live-ass dog, and fighting Jamall Emmers after standing with Dan Ige for fifteen minutes is like scaling your driveway after summiting Mt. Everest. Nate will wreak havoc from bell to bell, and if Emmers can't find an early finish, he likely won't find one at all. If you can't kill Nate early, you can't kill him at all. I like Emmers's game a lot, and he's a dangerous fight for Nate, but I thought Nate's level of competition would have made him the slight favorite. At plus money, fighting a guy who will stand and bang for fifteen minutes, Nate is a fookin' De Niro in Heat steal.
Angel Pacheco (+300): I'm going here. It's been a while since I swirled my pinky toe in the (+300)'s odd range. Why now? I don't think Caolan Loughran is very good. He has Tin Man stand-up, and his only game plan seems to be level-changing and stalling against the cage. I don't anything about Pacheco's takedown defense and overall ground game, and that there lies the risk in Pacheco. But if he can force stretches on the feet, he will chip away and eventually overwhelm Loughran on the feet.
Chris Weidman (+215): This is a dog pick. He may have young Forest Gump legs, but he still has that Resident Evil dawg in him. After having the shit kicked out of his legs by Tavares like Rick James on the couch, Weidman was still throwing bombs and had some big moments on the feet. Also, I don't trust Bruno Silva any further than I can piggyback Lizzo. Not even Dale Earnhardt can hit a wall faster than Bruno Silva. Pressure will be Weidman's best weapon, and the longer this fight goes, the better chance Weidman will have of not only stealing the fight but finishing it.
Pick 'Em
Chidi Njokuani (-145) vs. Rhys McKee (-145)
Winner: Chidi Bang Bang
Method: TKO Rd.2
Virna Jandiroba (+160) vs. Loopy Godinez (-200)
Winner: Loopy Godinez
Method: Decision
Julio Arce (-400) vs. Herbert Burns (+300)
Winner: Julio Arce
Method: TKO Rd.2
Dennis Buzukja (-125) vs. Connor Matthews (+100)
Winner: Dennis Buzukja
Method: Decision
Ibo Aslan (-130) vs. Anton Turkalj (+110)
Winner: Ibo Aslan
Method: TKO Rd.2
Victoria Dudakova (+130) vs. Melissa Gatto (-160)
Winner: Melissa Gatto
Method: Decision
Andre Petroski (+190) vs. Jacob Malkoun (-230)
Winner: Jacob Malkoun
Method: Decision
Angel Pacheco (+300) vs. Caolan Loughran (-350)
Winner: Angel Pacheco
Method: TKO Rd.3
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