Dana White's Contender Series: Lohsen v Okanovich
That's the same face I made. | Photo by Chris Unger/DWCS LLC

Insert joke about Diamond Cup here.

Who is the Michael Jordan of MMA? Who is the Barry Bonds of MMA?

We ask questions like this all the time, because we seek parallels between combat sports and traditional "stick and ball" sports. This is a story with no stick and a subtracted ball, where we at least get to find the modern-day John Kruk of MMA.

Today we're discussing Christian 'Hollywood' Lohsen, a 26-year-old Floridian that started his MMA career in 2014 in the amateur ranks. Lohsen had fought for Island Fights on the Florida scene before getting a shot at Dana White's Contender Series in 2019, suffering a decision loss to JJ Okanovich. From there he fought for iKon and more recently, PFL earlier this year in August.

But in a tragic event during a training session, he got nailed in the gonads by a training partner, leading to a hospital visit that ended with him losing a testicle.

As noted over at BJPenn.com, Lohsen was cracked on his left Cracker Jack, which was excised. His riches have been reduced by half with the loss of this family jewel. Training for MMA is stressful enough for anyone to lose their marbles, but ideally shouldn't lead to losing one of these marbles.

Some of you are probably wondering why I'm the one writing about this, and there's a simple explanation. I've been the unofficial testicular correspondent for years, and by golly, we're gonna keep the lights on with nut jokes whether you like it or not.

It's not like we can top Lohsen's own reaction to his misadventure:

So last night was rough… in a training accident I got my left testicle ruptured by a knee which led to it getting surgically removed … thank you to everyone last night that helped me get to the hospital. I'm fine home resting, surgery went well. Doc said I won't lose testosterone or ability to have kids from this. If I lose the other one however it's a different story so from now on if you hit me in my last testicle we aren't friends… lol #NoNutNovember #OneBallWonder #MMAIsADangerousGame #TookNoNutNovemberWayTooFar

I'm just glad he made the No Nut November joke before I did, I get in enough trouble around these parts. Something, something... nuts. Whatever.

But seriously, we feel for Christian and wish him a speedy recover. Glad he's not only doing well in his recovery so far, but that he's in such good spirits regarding the matter. All the best to him.