I have been thinking about my "critical history". About the idea that we all have, own, a history that is unique. Defining.

Of course we all have "a past", a history, but I am coming to understand that there are points in my past that are critical, defining, unshakable, and ofttimes negative.

Some are positive. It's great if defining points in one's life are positive. But we all know that there is always a ying/yang effect in life, and the negative aspects of life can very much loom larger than the positives.

If you let them…

I guess a large part of where I am coming from has its foundation in meditation. I am a child of the 60s and have been imbued with, influenced by many divergent schools of Eastern thought. A large part of where I am coming from is based in the teachings of The Dojo, the Martial Arts. The way of The Warrior. As well, I have been very much influenced by "The Teachings of Don Juan".

Perhaps most importantly to my thoughts today is a technique I learned in the 70s and 80s. Taught by Don Juan as "Recapitulation"…

I found this on line…

The recapitulation practice happens to be one of the most effective forms of active meditations invented to date. Unlike various forms of oriental meditation techniques with questionable results, such as the western version of mindfulness meditation and others, recapitulation has the potential to bring one up to speed with his/her own subconscious. In other words, once you become proficient in recalling past events without the intervention of the surface mind, the ability to focus and be self-aware become second nature in day to day circumstances, where the body-mind is able to assess and make decisions effectively and with confidence through "knowing."… Castaneda might have been a creative story teller and you can question the authenticity of some of his stories but the concepts of impeccability along with the practice of recapitulation are the "holy grail" in my opinion.

And I agree, Carlos C. was indeed a creative story teller.

So, "critical history", for me evolves around events in my past that energetically effect me in the long term. You might call it "karmic baggage", but thats not 100% correct. It's more definitive. More enduring.

I firmly believe that we are the sum total of our experiences. Most folks walk this earth being either more, or less, than they really are.

The old "Be here Now" theory is OK, but its not complete.

One cannot negate their past. One cannot be whole without their past.

Why am I chewing on this topic? For what purpose? For what end… of course a huge part is my personal journey. My energetic, cognisant, aware existence. Another part is the fact that I meet so many damaged people, so many walking wounded.

So many folks that are unaware of their critical history. Know not why they are wounded, injured, incomplete.

Some remain unaware by choice. Some are unaware because they are incapable of honestly looking into themselves. Too scared to be honest with themselves.

I have written about memory, how I practice remembering. How I exercise my memory. Basically, my practice of recapitulation.

I think knowing my past is important to me as I move into my future. I think that being aware of and coming to terms with my critical history is the same as "airing the skeletons in one's closet", so to speak. But much more.

I guess its one of the main reasons I write. I write to unload, to share, divest and understand. A good writer writes about what he knows. What he experiences. What he understands.

Or she…

I am gender inclusive…

And the beat goes on.

A gorgeous Sunday here in QLD.

Life is good.

Consider your personal critical history.

And smile.

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